Friday, August 24, 2012

Hi, I'm Jill and I have a high needs baby.

Right when I gave birth to Emery, we snuggled close to each other and fro. That first second I was in love, and so was she. I was on bed rest for 3 days after birth and we had lots of snuggling time. Over the next few weeks it was just mike, emery and I, but I was giving her almost all of what she needed. Mike was there constantly though, giving her tons of kisses and learning how to hold her and snuggle her.

By 6 weeks I was itching to get back to working out. Mike said he would love to have so e daddy daughter time with her so I went. I came back 2 hours later and he looked at me like he had been to hell for 2 hours.

"she didn't stop crying." he said.
"what do you mean? She was sleeping when I left." I asked.
"From the time you left she cried, then stopped when she heard you walk through the door." he said with a big sigh.

This was only the beginning. Soon she couldn't even be held by anyone else except  for me. I couldn't go to the bathroom without her screaming for me for leaving the room. Mike would hold her and she would start to just whimper.

I found Dr. Sears website while reading about vaccines. I was just looking through the pages and I  saw "12 features of a high needs baby". I was curious so I clicked on it. As I was reading through the list a light bulb went off in my head. I have a high needs baby.

Intense. Her cries aren't just whimpers. They are very intense. She screams to hard and turns red. As soon as I hear her, I need to give her what she wants or she will wake up the entire neighborhood.

Draining. I love my daughter, but she is so draining. She sleeps through the night now, but by 4pm I. So exhausted from her emotions and my emotions from the whole day.

Feeds frequently. She is pretty much attached to my boob all the time. She doesn't feed for long periods of time, but eats a lot. Someone asked me once how many times she eats per day. I had no idea what to say so I just replied with "a lot." I would say on an average day, every 45 minutes sometimes a little over an hour, sometimes 30 minutes.

Demanding. When she wants something, she wants it then and there at that very moment or she will scream louder than you can ever imagine.

Unpredictable. We have to plan our days or trips around her. We often cannot plan ahead because we don't know how she is going to be that day. I feel bad when we are asked to do something and we have to say, "Oh we have to see how she is doing at that time of day on that day."We can't commit to anything usually.

Super Sensitive. Emery gets stimulated really easily. That in return often ends up in massive cry sessions that only I can consle her. I've also noticed how she reacts to sounds. I use the ice machine on our fridge very often. I'm so surprised she still is shaken up whenever I use it during the day.

Not a self-soother. The child cannot stop crying on her own. She needs to be consoled by me and only me. She needs to be nursed or snuggled to sleep. This usually means she is in the crook of my armpit and my arm is around her as she nuzzles her body into mine.

Seperation sensetive. I think that's an understantement. Like I said before, I can't even use the bathroom without her crying and wondering where I am. She is getting better and learning to tolerate Mike for very short periods of time, but It's becoming so tiring i.e. "Draining".

As I read these, I began to cry. Will it ever end? Will it be like this forever? I hear God whisper in my ear that it's temporary. Temporary, just like her little baby giggles, her little coos, the way her eyes light up when I lock eyes with her, and the way she lets me kiss her cheeks constantly.

As I'm dealing with her demanding personality, I'm trying to remember to enjoy these moments because there will be a day when she will no longer need me as much as she does now.

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