I always thought that I would give birth in a hospital "just like everyone else". I even thought it was weird that my sister gave birth at home. I was young and really misinformed of course. I was worried that something would happen to her or the baby. Even after seeing her home-birth, I wasn't convinced. However, I did know that I was afraid of needles and there was no way I was going to get an epidural.
So, of course my husband and I don't take anything slowly. Right after we got married we found out I was pregnant. I called my OB's office and scheduled an appointment. M decided to come with me to my appointment and I was so excited to possibly see our little one.
I get to my appointment and they call me back. The nurse shoves a cup at me and says, "You need to pee in this." I thought ok, no big deal. Pee in a cup. Everyone does it at some point. Then I get passed off to another nurse and get my blood drawn. Then I get passed off to an ultra sound tech. I will say seeing my daughter (I didn't know she was a she at that point) was the most amazing feeling in the world. I still remember her moving around all over the place! After the ultrasound I get put in a room and get checked. It was just exhausting going from room to room. Then, I get dressed, and am told to go to my OB's office.
I expressed my desire for a natural child birth. I even mentioned a water birth. That hospital did not have any tubs, so that was out of the question. She looked at me the moment I mentioned natural childbirth and buried her head in he Ipad and said, "Hmm. Ohhhhkaaayyy.." I could tell she wasn't sold on it, and she made me feel really stupid for even mentioning it.
When we get home, I start to googling everything about pregnancy. I went on a message board and I saw someone post about the documentary "The Business of Being Born". I asked Mike if he would want to watch it with me and he did. What an eye opening that was. Was it biased? absolutely. Was it informational? Yes. After we watched the documentary I started researching home-birth. I found tons of articles saying that it was just as safe as hospital birth for low risk pregnancies. I also began reading home birth stories and they were so inspiring. I loved the idea of being free to move around my house, and the possibility to enjoy the birth of my child. So I asked my chiropractor if she new any midwives. She directed me into the arms of Barb & Jacque
Our first time visiting her was when we interviewed Barb and Jacque. Immediately I was connected to them. They sat and talked with M and I for literally 90 minutes. I was so at peace with meeting them. As soon as we got to the car I told M that this was it. "Let's do it. Let's have our baby at home." M agreed.
We still had an appointment with our regular OB the next day and I wanted to keep it because I knew I was going to hear the heartbeat for the first time. We get to the office and are greeted by the receptionists. The receptionist who handles the billing asked us to come talk to her. She told us the payment plan for the hospital delivery. I quickly (out of excitement said) "Oh, we are having our baby at home." She looked at me like I was going crazy.
"You can't do that." She said.
The other receptionist chimes in, "You can't do it. I know someone who's baby died and the mother almost died."
My husband responds, "Midwives have been delivering babies for thousands of years."
The first receptionist quickly says, "Midwives aren't trained as well as OB's. They don't have experience." (Mind you these women do not have any degree in the medical field, and wouldn't even let me talk to my doctor.)
Immediately, I wanted to cry. I was so thankful for my husband. He grabbed my hand and said, "We are cancelling out appointment." and walked me out to the car. He spent the next 10 minutes listening to me cry and telling me it was ok, and we were making the right decision.
After that situation, I called Barb and told her that I wanted her to be my midwife. She had asked me to get my medical records from my OB, so I did. I looked at my records and noticed my OB had written something under an unusual statement. "Problems with patient:" Under this it wrote. "Patient has a strong desire for a natural child birth." Hmm I wondered why in the world that was a problem. This just made me even more sure that I wanted a home birth.
My visits with Barb were a lot different than my OB visits. She asked me how I was doing emotionally and physically. We would talk about what I was eating, and often shared recipes with each other. It was like I was talking to a friend over tea. How wonderful was that? I felt so comfortable with her. Finally it came time to where I was in labor and I looked back at my pregnancy and was so relieved and happy with the choice I made.
*I in no way believe that every woman should have a home birth and respect and admire any woman who gives birth no matter where or how. Every momma is a warrior whether you go through labor naturally, with an epidural, or have a c-section