Tuesday, July 24, 2012

Dear E,

Dear E,

As I was looking through my baby pictures, I noticed that we are identical. You look so much like me when I was a baby and it made me really excited! (I'm on the left, E is on the right.)

 Then, I started looking through more pictures. Oh no. I got to age 7 and, well, let's just say. I'm so sorry. If you take after me, you're going to have a really long awkward stage. It's going to last from ages 7-16. Again, I'm sorry. However, there are some things you can do that will make you look less awkward and I will help.

At age 7 I will not take you to a hairdresser who cuts hair out of her garage, next to a motorcycle, while wearing leather. She will give you a mullet, and well, I will make sure that it won't happen.

At age 8 please don't forget to remind me that it's picture day. I won't let you walk out of the house in a vintage Micky Mouse T-shirt, that you're great-great uncle wore a long time ago. I will also not pack kool-aid in your lunch box so it gives you that red mustache.

At age 10, I will make sure to help style your hair, because you insisted on growing your bangs out. I will try to help you pick out a hairstyle that doesn't include huge dragonfly barrets. I will try to convince you not to put them on the sides of your head.

When you're 12, and want to be in a play about falling in love with a prince, and you have to wear a hideous costume, I know you're going to be excited because you got to be the princess, but I just want to let you know that when you look back at that picture, you're going to be really embarrassed. Don't worry, I won't show your future boyfriends.

When you're 14 and are just discovering make-up and how to do your hair creatively, I will smile and say that it looks nice because I know you're learning and trying really hard. And when you roll your eyes at me because I suggest a different way to put on your make-up, you'll roll your eyes at me. Just remember when you're older and looking at pictures of yourself, I told you so.

When you turn 17, I promise, things get better. You'll grow into your looks.

You'll learn how to wear make-up the right way, and you'll always wonder if your hair looks o.k. But most importantly E, you're going to know how beautiful you are. No matter if you have a mullet, wear a stained t-shirt on picture day, how you wear your hair, or how hideous your first play costume is, I want you to know that you are beautiful inside and out even in the most awkward stages of your life.

I can't promise you that I will save you from every awkward moment you might have, but the only thing I can promise you is, I will never let someone give you a mullet.

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