Thursday, September 20, 2012

Feeling Grateful

It's been a long day. We are both exhausted and worn out. E has begun to scream on car rides when she is tired, so that puts me in the back seat when we are driving together.

4 hours earlier I would have preferred to sit in the back sit with a smiley baby than in the front disagreeing with each other on a drive over to dinner. M is starting a new business and we are both home all the time. I'm loving that I see him all day, but I fail to remember that he needs to work like a regular work day. My heart is stubborn that afternoon and I feel us both getting frustrated.

After dinner we are in the car heading home. As I'm sitting in the back holding E's pacifier in for her while she drifts to sleep, I catch a glimpse of M's jaw. For some reason it brought me back to when he told me about the jaw surgery he had and how tough it was. Then I think back to him telling me about how life was when he started his business at the young age of 20.

The part of him I never knew, slept in a car because he had no place else to sleep because he poured everything to start his business. I never knew him when he had to stay up literally days at a time seal-coating and repairing driveways and parking lots by himself.  I never knew M when he was struggling financially in hopes that his business succeeds.

The man I look at now is 32. He's a successful business owner, father, husband and a man chasing after God's heart.

I take a deep breath and catch another glimpse of his jaw. I'm realizing that this man has sacrificed so much in his life before we knew each other, so that he could build an amazing life for our daughter and for me. I smirk at how stubborn I can be and that I'm sure I sounded ridiculous and ungrateful that afternoon.

As he starts this new business I have to remember that he spends so much time working, not because he wants to, but because he has to. He sacrifices so much that I forget that I need to sacrifice too.

Later as we fall into bed I turn to him and thank him for working so hard for our family. We both apologize for using sharp tongues and quickly forget about our disagreement.

Thanks M. for all you do.
(M working hard on our wedding day. Valkanet Photography)

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