I'm the only one to blame.

I was thinking about my pregnancy the last couple days.

I've been telling Mike that this is it. No more babies. I don't want to be pregnant again and that's that. He has been completely happy with that, and said it was up to me and He's happy with one if that's what we decide. Little did I know in the back of his head he knows that one day I'll want another one eventually. He may be right, but just to think about being pregnant again right now makes me queezy.

I'm thinking in my head, "Why did I really dislike being pregnant so much? What was it?" I'm replaying all of my symptoms in my head. Nausea, fatigue, weight gain, and lots of pain. The more I think about it the more I realize:

I sabotaged my own pregnancy.

I mean, I had a healthy baby and she stayed completely healthy during my entire pregnancy. I'm talking sabotaging myself.

Knowing what I know now, I'd do it completely differently. My nausea was terrible. The only thing I could handle eating was pasta. Pasta is a carbohydrate which breaks down in your body as sugar. Too much sugar can make you sick obviously. So here I was eating pasta all the time and STILL feeling sick. Oh and if you didn't know sugar makes you gain weight. I shouldn't have been surprised when I gained 20 pounds already when I was in the middle of my second trimester.

I was so in shape right before I got pregnant. I worked out every day, and ate really healthy. I let the fatigue get the best of me. Of course I needed a nap, I was making a human! What I should of done is continued working out faithfully. I think that would have helped with not only the weight gain, but my energy level and my pain. I began to put myself in a lazy funk.

Needless to say, if there will be another baby V any time in the future I'm going to do things a little differently. I've spent too much time regretting the things I didn't do.

It's so disheartening sometimes to think of all the hard work I put into my pre-pregnancy body, and realize that I'm the only one to blame for having to start over again because of what I did during pregnancy Here I go, on to being healthy..... again...