Monday, April 15, 2013

Moving on and Starting Over

When I moved for the first time for good out of my Mom's house, I was really excited. I was getting a chance to start over without being far from my family. I was going from living with my mom to my sister. I had a great opportunity and took it. It was a struggle getting to know people and it took me a couple years before I finally started forming relationships with others.(After M and E.) I finally felt like I was starting to settle. We have an amazing church and I was meetings so many people. I loved walking into church on a Sunday morning and saying hello to everyone and actually knowing them!

I've always known M wanted to move south eventually. At first we talked retirement, then it was after the kids leave the house, then it was moving in 5 years, and now it's actually happening. We are moving.

I am scared out of my mind. Truthfully, I am dreading the move, and I don't want to go. I finally, FINALLY, started getting settled and was enjoying everyone around me.

Financially, yes it's the best decision. We will be able to buy a house, live debt free, and be in a warmer climate, but all I see is the negative right now.

15 hours (at least) from my family, starting over again, finding a new church, developing relationships, and being far from everything I know. Talk about being out of my comfort zone.

A huge part of me is hoping it doesn't happen. I'm really hope it doesn't, but I know it will. I asked M yesterday, like I do every other day. "Is this really happening? Like how positive are you that we are moving? 80%? 110%? 200%?" He replies of course with "200%. We have to." 

Yeah, I know we do. Really, I know it's for the best.

My heart is heavy and it's constantly on my mind. What do I do? It's hard to have a happy and grateful heart when all I can thinking about is leaving my life behind. How can I just put aside these emotions and accept it?


I just keep praying. I pray that God guides use and gives us wisdom. 

So dear friends, keep us in your thoughts and prayers, especially me. I'm having a difficult time with the idea and accepting the reality.

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